Dear Little Girl,

You always think that when you are older, you will know EVERYTHING, that you will be completely at ease with yourself, and that none of the issues you had growing up will exist.

Wrong.

I am thirty (Update: Now 31!), and there are still things and people that can make me insecure at times. I still feel lost and scared and very unsure of the future. I still wonder what I will end up being “when I grow up”, even if, technically, I have been a legal adult for the past 10 years.

I still question my actions, debate whether or not my thoughts and opinions are appropriate, compare myself to my peers who seem more put together and general more “adult” than I am. Life is not perfect, as I thought it would be at this age, and many times, I am really STILL figuring it out.

The good thing is, I realized as I clock in the years, that:

1. You don’t need to have a time frame to know everything- you have your whole life-and guess what, even then, there’s still so much to learn.

2. In anything you do, there will always be people better than you, and worse than you; prettier than you and not as physically attractive as you-you just need to accept this, and love yourself, no matter what. If you fuck up,  and you will, pick yourself up, and keep on moving.

3. “Growing up” does not mean the same thing for everyone. I don’t need a white coat, a business suit and a 9-5 (Update: I know have a 9-5. And again, I maintain that you never know where life will take you and for what reasons you choose the path that you do. Who knows where I’ll be in 5 years? The only thing I know is that I’m a hippie at heart and I’m never too old to try something new) and overtime to know that I am doing ok. If you choose tattoos, summer dresses and scheduling your own time- that’s fine too. We are all different and all have different paths. I don’t remember where I read this but some wise person said ” It’s ok to disagree with other people’s paths, as long as you don’t think yours is the only path” (or something like that)

4. The “lost” feeling isn’t completely a bad thing. It just means I think, I wonder, I experiment, I feel, I believe, I change my mind, I discover, I want more. I am never satisfied because I always know there is something more. At the same time, I have also learned to chill. I’ve learned it’s ok to relax and zone out. I know It’s not always up to me, and I don’t always need to be the one to change the world.

5. You’ll get over it— Stop taking yourself so seriously. Stop trying to keep up with everything that’s new, having the most expensive bag, the trendiest shoes being in the “right” places. The older you get, the more you’ll realize that people will be attracted to your personality, your intelligence and what you have to offer and less what you own and what you look like.

Peace.Love.Happiness. Sometimes, that’s all we really need :)

-Erica